2016. Let’s rock this shit. Who has goals? I have a few goals.

I gotta get healthy. For my sanity, my body, and my wardrobe. But I’m doing this by:

  • eating more vegetables
  • drinking lots of water
  • sleeping more sensibly (i.e. not more, just earlier on week nights etc)
  • yoga every damn day
  • less sugar

(rather than obsessing or doing crazy crash dieting crap)



I gotta write more.  So this means:

  • scheduled music time
  • gigs!



Other goals:

  • declutter
  • sort the house for sale in the summer
  • work on my stress levels (either through changing jobs or finding time to let it go – more meditation maybe?)
  • more spiritual time for me
  • more Scotland travel, also maybe a few more European jaunts


You got goals? Let’s kick ass.




Progress and confidence


I feel a bit like I wrote my last post and it got a bit deep so I then dropped the mic and ran away. But hello! I am here.


And holy cow, it’s basically the end of February.  I knew 2015 would go by fast but it is disappearing in the blink of an eye. Tomorrow is 4 weeks until we fly to New Zealand and I suddenly feel the time crunch of it all – so much to do before the big day, but I know we’ll get there.



I’ve said it before, but I’ve had a bit of wedding dress body stress, and that has changed quite a lot since I last wrote about it.  My first dress fitting went really well, and the seamstress was fantastic and helpful and so, so cheap!  I almost fell off my bed when she told me how cheap it was going to be, and she had some excellent suggestions for amendments if I didn’t meet my fitness goals by the final fitting. I’ve got 11 days until the next fitting, but I’m feeling pretty happy with where I’m at so far. I’m still about 15-20lbs over where I (in a perfect world) thought I’d be on my wedding day, and about 25lbs over where I’d ideally like to be (which is actually lighter than I’ve been in geez, probably 15 years, so I’m just being pretty ambitious here), but since September I’ve lost nearly a stone (14lbs/6.5kg) and this year alone I’ve lost 8lbs, so I’m pretty stoked with that.



I know we’re all about not focusing on weight loss these days as a society, and accepting ourselves as we are, and I applaud that. But this to me was never about people thinking I was hot, or having a flat stomach, or buying into anything I’ve been told. It’s always been about my confidence level, and fitting into my clothes, and feeling healthy and strong.



The key to it for me has been diet (though yoga has been wonderfully beneficial as well) – once I started eating right, the cravings for stuff stopped, the self-control grew (like, I can have chocolate next to me and not eat the entire block, which a while ago was tough work) and I’ve become pretty obsessed with Nakd bars and stuff.  A huge help I’ve found has been not eating much at night/stopping eating before about 7pm – even when I’ve had an unhealthy day (cause, not gonna lie, there has been some fast food), I’ve managed to keep the weight loss going.

I also do a bit of 6:1/the occasional 5:2 and find that helpful too.  Not that common, though.  And more work to do!



Ultimately, it has been a huge boost to my confidence and to my happiness.  I still weigh so much more than I did 5 years ago, but my stomach is so much smaller, my thighs are awesome and I just feel good about my body for the first time in a long time.  Also, the yoga has contributed hugely to my mental health – my stress and anger levels have been pretty high over the last year, but they’re getting better.



I hope you’re all well and good!  I have some more posts planned for the next wee bit, so I’ll be back soon – especially to share some amazing shots I got while travelling last week.  And I’ve got my Edinburgh hen this weekend – super excited!





Buzz buzz.


Yeesh, I am a busy bee just now.



Between completing a large project for my new job (which no, I’m not doing yet – I’m doing the work of 2 people just now!) and album planning/rehearsing and just generally trying to live my life, I’m knackered.  I can cope with it but it requires some juggling of my life and I need to force myself to sleep sometimes.  I’ve had late nights every night for nearly 2 weeks and it’s starting to wear on me a wee bit (and I’m probably not that fun to hang out with lately!).

The new photo on my sidebar to the right was captioned “Sometimes I can’t imagine being blonde again” on Instagram and yes that is so damn true these days.   The below picture is after I visited a Blow Bar in London and wow, I am converted.  Having your hair washed, dried and then set into the style you choose for £25/under 30 minutes? Sold.  I couldn’t afford to do it too often, but luckily they’re not really in Edinburgh yet.  It’d be great for a special occasion/night out with friends.  Londoners, get to it!



But yes, I’m loving my hair these days.  Despite the fact that I need to dye my eyebrows (I was using pencils/shadow for a while but this is so much easier!) and have darker eyelashes (extensions are a huge help) to make the change in my colouring completely work (as my eyelashes and eyebrows are naturally very light blonde), I am loving this dark red-brown I’ve been rocking for a while now.  It looks so pretty when curled, it shines more, it makes my features stand out more, and I’m feeling a lot more confident about my appearance.  Well.  From the neck up.

From the neck down, things aren’t so peachy.  I still kinda hate my body these days.  It’s such a negative way of thinking, which goes against my life philosophy, but ugh, I need to carry on making those changes to get where I want to be.

I haven’t gone in completely the wrong direction or anything, but I feel like that’s because of the 3 weeks of serious working out I did before the last 2 weeks of not working out.  So I’ll be back to my regime next week.  Less work stress, etc., will help.  I know for others it’s ideal to go and get that work stress out at the gym, but after a tough day I just want to go home and lie around and eat icecream.  Not helpful.  Someone magic the gym-lust into me?  Routine routine routine.



In other news, it is still bloody winter.  It’s not snowing up here like it is in London (well, today), but we have sunny day/cold day/cold day/sunny day/super cold day… just now and I just. want. spring.



I’d love to lighten up on a few layers and start having dinner in the garden again.  I love snow but gosh the sooner I get some warmth the better.

Which leads me to… Majorca! Yes!  Dave and I are actually going to have a holiday. Together! I know!  I know I mentioned it in my last post, but I’m really excited.  2.5 weeks until we head off for a real break together.

Other than that, I’m deep into album planning and rehearsing with David who will be playing guitar and bass, and Keith who will be adding some drums.  It’s probably going to take more than the 2 days I currently have booked, but I’m hoping for us to be as rehearsed as possible by May when it all kicks off.  Have you pre-ordered?  Not long left on the campaign!

And I’ll be 29 soon. Which will be fun.  I’m one of those weirdos who enjoys getting older because I felt old at 22 (meningitis-induced fatigue, different lifestyle choices to others, etc), and it’s nice for the number to catch up to the Nana-like behaviour.  I don’t really care what others think, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to explain not wanting to drink/not wanting to stay out really late at 29 or 30 than it was at 22, believe me.  Well for me, anyway.  Those of you who are still party animals in your late 20s/30s/40s?  I salute you.



And speaking of not wanting to stay out late, I have a Hen Do this weekend which I am half excited about/half dreading. I’m not great with new people/situations (anxiety, panic attacks, etc), but I’m particularly not great with being in an arrangement where I am staying somewhere away from home, not entirely sure of the plan and not entirely sure how I’m getting home, etc, from planned “nights out”.   I just… I feel better when I have a (totally unnecessary) escape route, you know?  If it was a series of events all in my own city, where I could rely on my own transport to get back to my own house, I’d be calmer, for sure.

My anxiety sure has been rearing its ugly head a lot lately.

It’ll be great, I know, and it’s totally all in my head, I know, and the people will be lovely, I know, but y’know?  Those platitudes aren’t so great when anxiety is not something under my control.  I’m not worried the weekend will be too much for me, because I know a lot of people going on it who are wonderful and I care a lot about the bride but I’m still having anxiety about it.

But.  It’ll be so great to celebrate my friend’s upcoming wedding.  It is obviously not about me in the slightest and I imagine we will have fun.  Apart from the whole wearing a swimsuit in front of strangers thing.  Ick.



More posts soon!