If I told you, I’d have to kill you.

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He can fix it.

When I was 8 I wanted to be MacGyver. I wanted to work for him or with him and do all the fancy stuff he did with gadgets.
I used to lie under my Dad’s desk or the coffee table, screwdriver in hand, and pretend to be fixing something really important. It’s a wonder to this day that I didn’t end up becoming a mechanic.

MacGyver was cool. He could do anything with his duct tape and swiss army knife, and he didn’t believe in guns! He looked good with a mullet! He had a nemesis that just didn’t die no matter how many times he blew up! He just ruled. And he used science. I never really cared for science, but MacGyver had the skills to impress me with it.

I once dreamed of being a cop (or secret agent) but that fell over when I reached around 13 and realised that being 5’2 and less than 100lb wouldn’t really make me the right fighting candidate. And besides, what secret agencies are there in New Zealand?

(My childhood was full of shows like these. Quantum Leap was another favourite, because he always helped people, and I always wanted to help people. I wanted to save the world.)

When I got older and discovered La Femme Nikita, I realised that I’d never really get over the secret agent fetish. Nikita cared about everyone, fought against the system, and was such a double-agent at times that I wondered, like everyone else, how she managed to stay alive. I wanted to be able to fight like her, and find my own hot secret agent with a mullet. (Oh wait, is there a theme here? Michael was French, however. That definitely added to the allure). I started to really identify with these shows with strong female characters. I loved (and still love) Scully for her kick-ass attitude and intelligence. She seemed to be the only girl out there kicking butt for us, fighting to save the world and keep her partner in check.

And then came Joss Whedon’s girls. Buffy, Faith, River. Buffy was the hero of her town, saving everyone from vampires and demons, and looking cute/quipping at the same time. Faith had an attitude, but lived life to the full. And River? River was so strong, yet so lost. But she was brilliant, full of power.

We need these shows back. Or we need to create a whole new show, with a new heroine. She can jump through time to save your life. She uses science to save herself and disable the enemy. She has super strength. She can hide on the ceiling, limbs stretched out in support. She wisecracks, yet has vulnerability. And she always saves the day. Yeah, I’d watch that.

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Losses and obsessions

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Oops!

Poor France. Silly Zidane.

Now the majority of you won’t care about the football. But Italy claimed the 2006 title this morning, eventually triumphing over France on penalty shootouts 5-3.

France’s star player (also on his last international game) managed to get himself red-carded by headbutting another player’s chest. Oops. Would France have won the shootouts with Zidane? possibly. Lots of men crying all round, though. Ahhh, the Europeans.

In other news, my fatigue may not be fatigue. Oh joy. I will let you know later, but I am off to the doctor this afternoon with some worrying symptoms. Don’t stress, I’ll do that for you.

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I’ll leave you now with an entertaining phone conversation from last night:

CEILIDH
I’ve figured out your obsessions.

KAT
My obsessions?

CEILIDH
Your television obsessions, in particular.

KAT
Oh yeah?

CEILIDH
You know why you love Will and Grace?

KAT
Um, it’s funny?

CEILIDH
No. You’re Grace.

KAT
How am I Grace?

CEILIDH
You’re Grace. X Files?

KAT
Amazing show.

CEILIDH
You’re Scully.

KAT
How can I be Grace and Scully?

CEILIDH
Gilmore Girls?

KAT
I’m Lorelai?

CEILIDH
Bingo. La Femme Nikita?

KAT
Let me guess, I’m Nikita.

CEILIDH
Now you’re getting it. Do you see the underlying narcissism here?

KAT
Bah. What about Mad About You?

CEILIDH
You’re Jamie! Or Lisa. I can’t decide.

KAT
Scrubs? Don’t say I’m Elliot.

CEILIDH
No, you’re not Elliot.

KAT
Thanks.

CEILIDH
You’re Jordan.

KAT
Hey! I am not. She’s scary.

CEILIDH
After a few drinks, you’re scary.

KAT
Whatever. That 70’s show?

CEILIDH
Umm… you’re Donna. Minus the redness.

KAT
The “redness”?

CEILIDH
Oh and you’re half her height.

KAT
Hanging up now.

CEILIDH
You can’t hang up! I’m calling from Scotland!

KAT
You use that excuse every time to call and badger me. It drives me crazy. You make me want to clean things.

CEILIDH
Okay, okay, I take it back. [pause] You are Elliot.

God bless TV show DVD releases

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Oh the sexual tension.

No matter how late I get home, I always have to have a half hour of cooldown. I have to watch mindless television or listen to music or watch a DVD to settle my brain and be able to sleep.

Lately Finn and I have a new ritual before bedtime. After we have watched TV together (he is quite taken with Buffy – he sits and stares, with his head cocked on one side quite adorably), I take him down to his bed, speaking to him softly. He knows that “na naes” means “get in your cage, pup”, but he likes to muck around a little first.

I pull all of the bedding out of his cage, promise to wash it for him, put all back in neatly (while he tries to go in.. like I’m going to bed with him). I put his bed toy in there, and maybe a bottle for him to chew, and move him towards it, but he nuzzles me instead, paws my lap and tries to sit in it. He used to do this as a puppy, but as a fully-grown labrador, this isn’t quite possible anymore. But he tries. And we have our cuddle and our nuzzle and he smothers me with love. How can you not melt when he stretches himself out in your lap and puts his paws over his nose?

I usually listen to my iPod before sleep when I climb into bed (and it also turns on at 7.25 in the morning to try and wake me gently) and try to sleep as soon as I get in there. But without fail, I always end up sleeping around an hour later than I would like to, or had originally intended to. I guess I always know I am sleeping at 11 when I aim for 10.

I’d love to come home late late and go straight to sleep, but that only really works on a 3am night (and that usually involves alcohol). Sometimes I’m tired from exercising or I’ve already fallen asleep on the couch, so bed is easy peasy.

But most nights? I have my mindless television cooldown.