Christmas Wish

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Warning: This post may make even the most romantic person sick.

Last Christmas eve, I was in my apartment alone, as Andy was with his family, and I was working too early on Christmas Day to go home and see my own. I sat on my balcony with a cup of tea and felt utterly miserable and alone. And I went to bed.

 
This year, surprisingly, I felt the same. I was in a house full of people, but my 4am shift on Christmas Day had forced me to bed early, and I was missing out on the Christmas Eve togetherness that was happening downstairs. And I really, really missed Dave.
 
You see, while I am totally grateful for the lovely things my friends and family have bestowed on me this year (from homemade calendars from Sarah-Rose and my sister, to a photo keyring from my sister’s in-laws, to House S4 from Ma, to Dave’s thoughtful wee bag of gifts), I only had one real wish, and that was to have my Dave.
 
 
 
 

He was feeling it, too, on the phone. It seemed strange and foreign to me, and yet completely insane, as I have had 24 Christmases without him so far. How can a year of having someone in your life change everything?

 
 
 
But the idea that next year, I will be with him for Christmas, (with hopefully our respective families), in our own flat, is an exciting thought.
 
Add to that the fact that I won’t have to feel this feeling anymore: this constant empty feeling like something important is missing; that sinking feeling of sadness when I wake up without him. 
 
 
That is the best Christmas present I could ask for.

Thoughts

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I think of you in the morning because I wake up and wonder where you are.

I think of you on my way to work as I pass Caledonia Street.

I think of you at work as I check the loadings for my flights over.

I think of you on my break as I hope for you to call me.

I think of you after work as I drive past Caledonia Street.

I think of you at night when my friends are going out with their partners, when I see people holding hands.

I think of you as I go to sleep, wondering where you are.

Going the distance.

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Being at the point where I’m about to wrap up 20 weeks of a long distance relationship (and then have 3 weeks together before another.. 20 weeks apart), I thought I would post some lessons learned and tips for others, just thoughts…

  • Even if it’s just 5 minutes, make time for each other. Taking a few minutes at the beginning and end of each day to say I love you and I’m okay, or this is going on, makes a big difference to feeling involved in each others’ lives.
  • Oh the internet. I respect the internet medium, and use it all I can. Skype is a wonderful tool. Hearing his voice and seeing his face is a thousand times better for our communication than reading what he writes.. it is so easy to misunderstand text.
  • Involving each other, even across the world. Asking their opinion, telling them what’s bothering you.. like a real relationship, even.
  • Honesty is awesome.
  • Where were you last night? who were you with? and who is she? is she prettier than me?
  • Try not to let your phone run out of credit in the middle of a text conversation. “Oh yeah. I’m out with this guy James. Man have I been drinking tonight! woo!”
  • Trust goes a long way, obviously.
  • Don’t sweat the small stuff.
  • Learn more, grow still. Don’t put the relationship “on hold”, as it were. Develop it as you would if they were here. Ask each other things.
  • Watching a movie over Skype is fun, but pick a time of day where one of you isn’t going to fall asleep.
  • Have a date to look forward to. Knowing that you’re not in an LDR forever makes a big difference.

The long and short is, if they’re worth it, it can be done. If you love them, it can be done. If you work at it and are realistic about how hard it’ll be, it can be done.

The payoff, my friends, is so worth it.