The leaves are changing, the nights are cooler, and our heating clicks on instead of staying silent through the evenings.
We’re still in a perpetual state of waiting. Is that even good English? I am too tired to care. I feel like things that can be tough for folks to deal with on their own have happened to us all at once this year. Whether I am coping or not coping changes by the day. Does this mean I’m super strong? I don’t know. People don’t seem to notice that inside I’m screaming. Maybe they are too.
The stress levels may wane but it never goes away. There seems to be a never ending list of things that need to be done before Christmas and a never ending list of problems to solve. Money, time, heavy decisions. I am waiting.
I feel like I have been waiting all year. For answers to big questions.
I feel like I’ve been stressed for a few years straight.
Give me a pool and a book and nowhere to be. No one that needs anything from me, no tough decisions to be made.