The leaves are changing, the nights are cooler, and our heating clicks on instead of staying silent through the evenings.  

We’re still in a perpetual state of waiting. Is that even good English? I am too tired to care. I feel like things that can be tough for folks to deal with on their own have happened to us all at once this year.  Whether I am coping or not coping changes by the day.  Does this mean I’m super strong? I don’t know. People don’t seem to notice that inside I’m screaming. Maybe they are too. 

The stress levels may wane but it never goes away. There seems to be a never ending list of things that need to be done before Christmas and a never ending list of problems to solve. Money, time, heavy decisions.  I am waiting. 

I feel like I have been waiting all year. For answers to big questions. 

I feel like I’ve been stressed for a few years straight. 

Give me a pool and a book and nowhere to be.  No one that needs anything from me, no tough decisions to be made. 



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