I’m not sure what reminded me of her tonight. It could have been an email, the songs that I know she loves that were playing, or just the fact that I still have her as a livejournal friend, 2 years after her death.
I just miss Lacy tonight.
I started re-reading her entries after thinking about her, and realising that I hadn’t thought about her much since her death. Bizarre to think of it being over 2 years ago, and horribly unfair still that she’s gone.
Lacy died at 21 from Ewing’s Carcinoma. She was incredibly vibrant, passionate, talented and so much fun. We were going to go to RENT together in NYC on my 2006 US trip, but she died 3 weeks before I was due to leave. When I went to the show, the seat next to me was oddly empty, in a full auditorium. And no, I didn’t buy the ticket.
I can’t listen to RENT without thinking of her. Lacy, you were amazing and so full of life, and I still treasure your journal entries. It’s so unfair that you’re gone. The world is much less cooler without you in it.
Cancer sucks. She always said it made her stronger, and more grateful, and made her live life differently. But it still sucks.
Excerpts from her journal..:
“…I should be at a loss for words. This whole thing just makes me angry. I have never outright hated something so much as I do this disease. I hate it with all of my soul… It hurts and it hates and it doesn’t discriminate and there is no getting around it. If your cells decide to turn on you, they do, and I hate it! No one deserves this disease, no matter what kind of person they are.”
“Ewing’s Sarcoma is a bitch, and I hate it, but it’s also one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. It’s made me appreciate life so much more, and made me [a] stronger person. I know that I can overcome anything placed in front of me. I’m petrified, no doubt. But it’s not going to stop me from living life to the fullest.”