Conversations with myself


I don’t usually like doing mundane tasks like photocopying and binding. It’s not that I feel it’s beneath me, as my admin position is hardly at the top of the food chain, but it makes me feel like I’m doing work that someone else could easily do for themselves.

This morning, however, I took on the small task of photocopying and binding 2 contracts for one of the managers. Maybe it was because I was bored and wanting to avoid other work, maybe it was because I felt a bit guilty that I was sitting at work reading X Files fanfic, or maybe it was just because I like him.

The binding machines are in a training room which is only accessible via swipe key. My key gets in everywhere, so I often go to the systems room or training area to hide away and get some thinking done. This morning on the way up there, I ran into the delivery boy (well when I say boy I really mean man, but he’s not that much older than I) for our catering company. He’s very attractive, and always smiley. Our old assistant used to insist that he had the hots for me, but I’m never too sure about these things, despite knowing all about body language and signals. Let’s just say – I get a bit blind when it comes to myself.

I have a horrible habit of imagining conversations.. thinking of how things would go if they occurred. And because my life as of late has been so boring, they’re usually a little nutty. Today’s example:

Let me take you to dinner.

Based on what, my looks?

Well, that and your personality.

You don’t know my personality.

You’re always friendly..

That’s my job.

Buh.. uh..

I’m also moody. I’m creative, so I’m always working on ideas. I write a lot of music. I spend a LOT of time alone. I have a very unhealthy obsession with the X Files and watch it constantly. If I’m not watching it I’m making music videos or reading sites. I can be volatile. I’m patient but can be demanding. I get very insecure. I’m not very trusting of men. I’ve been hurt a lot. I’m OCD. And a control freak.

Buh-uh-.. forget it.

And you folks wonder why I’m single.

One thought on “Conversations with myself

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