Yours sincerely..


Dear tall & demanding but pretty work lady,

It really is my top priority every single day to make sure you have enough plunger coffee. I am more than happy to stop processing customer letters, even though I am in the middle of a file, to go upstairs and help bring on your caffeine-injected early death.


Dear Seinfeld:

I know you are in cohorts with my DVD player to never let me sleep. But I’d really appreciate it tonight if you malfunctioned at 10.30pm or so to force me to actually lie down.


Dear Valentine’s Day,

You suck.

Go away,

Attn all florists:

Please deliver flowers, chocolates, naked men, etc, to home addresses. If I have to deliver one more bouquet of roses to a gushing employee, I’m worried that I’ll be sick in the next plant.


Dear Love,

I’m not unhappy with you. It’s not your problem. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I know. I know. It’s ok.

Want to go for coffee?


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