Things I have learned from living alone


1. Leaving lights on when you leave the house in the afternoon means that when you get home at night, you’re not stepping into a dark tomb.

2. The cats are largely irritating.. all the time. They want to be fed at least 4 times a day. One of them attacks me if I walk the opposite way from his food bowl. Yeah.

3. Tight jars can be opened by banging the lid down on a hard surface (thanks Sarah!)

4. Owning a robe is a good idea if you wish to walk from the shower to well, anywhere.

5. You’ll need a box of some sort if you wish to reach your car roof to wash it.

6. It’s perfectly okay to run around the house singing and dancing at 3am. After all, you’re not bothering anyone.

7. Dishes can be left for well, whenever.

8. If you don’t put the bin out on Monday night, you will have the same stinking rubbish for a week.

9. Friends will always visit if you give them the opening. Sometimes they’ll bring food and booze. Those are the good friends.

10. Your vegetable intake will drop unless you cook em. Do you know how to cook vegetables? I didn’t think so.

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