Mourning the great

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I feel.. numb. Well it’s the closest feeling.

My recent ex and I had a big talk tonight that was long overdue. I finally feel like it’s over. I don’t feel great, but I don’t feel like my heart has been ripped out, either.

He is a good guy. He is a good guy that made bad choices, said bad things. And he does deserve the forgiveness I am learning to give him. He wants me to be in his life and I am important to him – and he is important to me.

He finally mentioned that it feels like mourning – and it really is grief. We’ve lost something big. We can have something similar, but we’ll never be the same.

I told him I can still be in his life, but he has to earn it. We will see how things go. We held each other and I cried over losing what we had and him hurting me so deep. My throat still aches.

Maybe I can heal now. I think we will be ok. Or at least I’ll write some good songs from it.

…Right?

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